Whether you’re getting over the fact that your crush doesn’t like you back, your boyfriend has now become your ex, or you didn’t get that internship you’ve been waiting forever for, not getting what you want sucks and the sad truth is there’s no easy way to get over it. You might try to tell yourself, “It’s fine, I’m fine” and you might even believe that but when you’ve put you’re heart and soul into something and it comes crashing down . . . well it’s not a pretty sight.
So what do you do? You’ve spent weeks planning how your first date with your perfect guy will go. You were just about to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your parents. You’ve made no other plans for the summer because you were sure you would get the job. Now what? Well, lucky for you I’ve been there and here’s a few tips of mine that should help you get through it.
1. Let It Go
In the words of Elsa, “Let it Go.” So things didn’t go as you expected and yes it sucks but just take a breath and think about it. In the grand scheme of things will this really matter in five years? Or 10? Although it might feel like the worst thing that has ever happened to you right now, it does get better. Just take some time, cry if you have to, let it all out, and then move on. If you only dwell on the past you’ll never get to your future.
2. Shift Your Focus
Whether its a boy, a girl, a job, or something else it most likely hurt so much to lose it because it was something/someone that was very important to you. More likely or not it was something you thought a lot about or spent a lot of time on. Now that it’s over what do you do with your time? Work on something else. If it’s a person you’re getting over this is not permission for you to “get under someone else”. No, this is permission to try something new. Put your mind to something else. You always wanted to try sky diving, do it! Want to get in better shape? Start looking at cool new exercises and how to eat better. If it’s an internship or job you’re after apply for another one (maybe more than one this time). Whatever you do make sure it’s something you’re passionate about doing. Otherwise, what’s the point?
3. Moving On
This is definitely easier said than done especially when it’s a person you’re getting over. You can’t just shut your feelings off (no matter how hard you may try). The best advice I can give is don’t dwell on the person. Stop stalking them on every social media website you can find. Quit “accidentally” bumping into them. Don’t go through your old text conversations or look at your friendship on Facebook. Stop looking at those photos and remembering “the good times”. One day you will be able to look back and think about all those good times but that day isn’t today. You’re not over it yet and all that’ll do is make you sad and want to get a carton of ice cream to eat by yourself. Stop it. Instead, get out of your room and out of your pjs. See people, real people, not the one’s on Netflix. Get your friends and do something fun and open yourself up to finding something/someone new. You deserve it.
4. Starting Anew
In summary stop thinking about your current situation as a loss but instead as a reason to start afresh. If it’s a job or something you applied for don’t ask yourself what you did wrong but instead what you could do differently next time. If it’s a crush or now ex-boyfriend/girlfriend don’t stress about why they didn’t feel the same way or why they didn’t want to be with you. It’s their loss. Instead think of this as a new opportunity. You’re single to mingle so go mingle! Have fun! Let loose and don’t stress over someone who couldn’t see you for what you really are: awesome. There’s someone out there for you and in the words of Michael Bublé, “they just haven’t met you yet.”
Zakiya N. Jamal 