The Great Facebook Cleanse of 2014


Out with the old and in with the new. With a new year comes new challenges, new adventures, and probably new friends. Now I know Drake said, “No new friends,” but I believe there’s always room to meet new people. There’s also room to let go of some of those old friends. In this case I mean Facebook friends.

I remember a time when I used to want 1,000 Facebook friends. I thought that would be cool, to say I knew all these people. The thing is you might know 1,000 people but you don’t actually know them. Either you met them that one time at a party or you were once friends but you’re not anymore, or you don’t even remember how you became friends with this person. Either way, there’s a bunch of people that you probably don’t actually need to be friends with on Facebook and although it might be hard to let go it may be for the best. Here’s a list of some of the people you may want to delete before the New Year:

  1. Your ex – Yes, Facebook stalking might be fun and vindicating but it’s probably not healthy
  2. Ex-friends – see previous
  3. Someone you haven’t spoken to in the last six months
  4. Someone who’s name you can’t immediately recognize
  5. Any organizations that you felt obligated to be friends with at some point but now realize you don’t actually have to be friends with someone that’s not even a real person (unless you’re in that organization, in which case you might want to leave it alone for now)
  6. Anyone you’ve only remained friends with to stalk them (#StopFacebookStalking2015)
  7. That one person that you added because they looked cute but then never actually spoke to (or you did and it didn’t work out, see #1)
  8. Anyone that’s still poking you, sending you invites to games (Candy Crush especially), or is just generally annoying you on Facebook

Of course, there are exceptions to the rules. Family members are off limits (even if they’re your third cousin twice removed). Childhood friends that you haven’t seen in a while but you still have fond memories of are totally allowed to stay. And really anyone you just feel wrong parting with, don’t. Obviously these exceptions could make all these rules invalid and that’s fine. Maybe you don’t want to get rid of any of your Facebook friends. No judgment.

Just remember all those people that you’re friends with can also back stalk you. Just a thought. Happy cleansing!

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