Why I’m Still Single and Why That’s None of Your Concern

As a 20-year old woman who has never been in a serious relationship I am often asked and told some very outrageous things. After talking to some of my other single girlfriends and just seeing things on social media I can tell I’m not the only one. So here are some common things my friends and/or I have heard.

1. “Are you gay?”

I’m sorry what? Because I’m not currently dating anyone I’m now a lesbian? First of all let’s be clear if you’re gay that’s fine. However, even if I was how do you just ask someone that? You literally just asked someone to either out themselves or lie to your face. I don’t understand. This is not okay. This is never, ever okay.

2. “You’re just too picky that’s why you haven’t found anyone yet.”

Ummmmm, really? Is that it? Please point out the 20 dates I’ve turned down this week. Oh, wait . . .

Or please show any viable candidates. Was I supposed to say yes to that guy that asked me to hop on his pegs and take a trip to Mickey D’s? Should I have gotten into that car with that random stranger that yelled, “Hey Ma!” at me? Whoops! My bad. In that case you are correct, I am too picky. Sorry I’m not sorry.

3. “Your time is running out.”

Okay to be fair this is usually grandmas or sometimes parents that say this and it’s often to my older friends but still. We’re all in our early 20’s. What time is running out? According to a quick Google search, a woman’s fertility doesn’t start heading down that downward slope until 27 so I think I’m good. If I start to get worried though I’ll definitely try to quickly find a suitor before my clock runs out.

Also, why is it that women tend to be told this more regularly than men? Yes I want to have children one day but it’s not my only goal just like I’m sure it isn’t for men. I’ve got other things on my mind then making sure I get married and have kids in time. Also, you know, there’s always adoption.

4. “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone one day.”

Um, thanks but I wasn’t worried. I’m actually fine with it. Sorry but thinking about my single status is really the least of my concerns right now. I’ve got school, my future, my friends, and my job amongst other things on my mind. Being single isn’t the end of the world and just because you think so doesn’t mean I do. I’m fine.

5. “Maybe if you try a little harder. Why don’t you go out more?”

But really. Seriously? Again, why is my being single my fault? Yes I’m okay with it but I didn’t choose this life it chose me. I am not in any way purposefully staying single, and for your information I do go out. Again, I just haven’t met the right person yet. But thanks, I’ll definitely “try harder”. I’ll even put myself out there more. Then if I’m still single you can try to figure out another reason for it.

6. “I know the perfect guy for you.”

Maybe you could say that I’m still just being picky or whatever but I don’t need you to set me up with anyone. I’m fine just the way I am. If I want your help I will ask for it. Trust me. Until then, please stop trying to push every single guy you know in my face. Thank you.

Basically, I say this all to say that if someone’s not in a relationship and they’re just doing them, let them. It’s none of your business why they’re single and you asking them about it or making snide comments about it isn’t helping and isn’t going to get them a significant other. If they want your opinion they’ll ask for but if not, really it’s none of your concern.